The largest condom factory in the States burned down.
President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
Trump: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship condoms in from Mexico."
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about Canada?"
Trump: "Okay, I'll call Justin and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches wide. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
Three days later, a delighted President Trump ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches wide, exactly as requested... All colored with red maple leaves and in small writing saying: Made In Canada/Size: Small.
A retired gentleman and former blogger went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.”
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office.
She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”
DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
S. SCOTT JOHNSON Did I really suck Trump's mushroom penis again?
When rich queers adopt their children, they are enslaved by faggots.
Applied to the practices of wealthy homosexual men who acquire babies, if there is total discontinuation of the full scope of bio-natural and social identities, including the right to an immutable and pre-existing identity as the offspring of a fertile mother and as a member of her family, it casts a shadow of falsehood over the life of the acquired person. If the acquired person is limited by the belief that they arose from nothing more than a commodified ova and womb, without recognition of the full scope of their natural and social identities (which, in truth, lie beyond the power of any human being to control), they are living in a state that parallels affectional involuntary servitude.
The squad has more influence than this pathetic president.
And certainly more than your wish he fails unlike the sheeple of the GOP who blindly are trying to destroy the country with authoritative dogma!!!!!!!!!!
Add Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) to Saturday Night Live's Cecily Strong's list of dead-on impressions as the Arizona Democrat was mocked for her spotlight-hogging and obstructionism in the cold opening of SNL's new season.
With new cast-member James Austin Johnson introducing his President Joe Biden impression, Strong's Sinema made her presence known in the sketch by shooting down any proposal being made by fellow Democrats as part of the infrastructure negotiations.
In addition to sticking out her tongue, blowing a raspberry and giving a thumbs-down to raising taxes on the rich, SNL's Sinema explained what she really stands for.
"What do I want from this bill? I'll never tell. Because I didn't come to Congress to make friends. And so far, mission accomplished," she smirked.
"Look, as a wine-drinking, bisexual triathlete, I know what the average American wants. They want to be put on hold when they call 9-1-1, they want bridges that just stop and car falls down. They want water so thick you can eat it with a fork. And I will fight for that no matter what. Unless my foot hurts, then I've got to go back to Arizona," she added.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden promoted his record-breaking $3.5 trillion spending bill today, telling Americans it will basically cost us nothing since China was kind enough to give him a brand new VISA card with a $3.5 trillion credit limit and a very low introductory rate.
"C'mon, folks, that's too good a deal to pass up!" said Biden in a press conference. "It's basically free money! And President Xi promised me an introductory 0.0% APR for the first month! And I get points for gas and groceries with every purchase! How can you not take that deal?"
He then waved the card around for the cameras, causing the assembled press to "ooh" and "aah" at the shininess and redness of it.
Experts say the spending bill will solve all the problems our country faces and will continue to do so until it's time to pass another one next month. The card will charge 0% interest for the first month, after which the rate increases to the firstborn child of every American citizen.
Biden has promised that after we've used up our Chinese credit card, he will fund further spending bills with a daring diamond heist, and he will then bet all the diamonds on black in a vegas casino craps table to make up the remaining funds.
Unfortunately, Biden's plan to use his new VISA card was ruined when AOC got ahold of it and bought $1 trillion worth of "Tax The Rich" dresses.
I'm so mad I'm literally shaking right now. Forget COVID, the real threat is critical race theory being taught in our schools! My question is, what is it and why am I mad about it?
Catturd ™ https://mobile.twitter.com/catturd2/status/1444283018441641986 I don't follow the billboard music charts - but "F Joe Biden" has to be the #1 song in the USA, right now.
Besides sporting events it's taking hold at concerts
Just over a week ago, the company that calls itself the Cyber Ninjas announced the results of its supposed "audit" of the 2020 election results in Maricopa County, Arizona, the state's major population center. Their findings were disappointing to hardcore Trump conspiracy theorists: Joe Biden's margin of victory actually increased by 99 votes, and there was no finding of systemic errors or election fraud.
In response, Donald Trump's critics and detractors among the news media, the liberal "resistance" and the general public resorted once again to laughter and mockery, resplendent in self-satisfaction that Trump's false claims had been debunked once again. All this was taken as one more example of how stupid, foolish and out of touch with reality Trump and his cultists really are.
If liberal schadenfreude were a drug, many of the Trump opposition were "high on their own supply" after the Arizona announcement.
As Trump's opponents dance in celebration of what they believe to be embarrassing setbacks for Trump and his movement, they had better beware of the pitfalls all around them. In reality, the fake audit in Arizona — which is soon to be copied in other states, including Texas — is another victory for Trump and the Republican-fascist movement in its war against American democracy.
Too many among the mainstream news media and political class are unwilling to acknowledge this fact, because they are products of, and beholden to an obsolescent way of thinking about politics and American society.
The Washington Times https://mobile.twitter.com/ComfortablySmug/status/1444382192273084420 Vice President Kamala Harris was making an unexplained private trip Friday to the resort town of Palm Springs, California, as Democrats in Congress sought to complete President Biden’s economic agenda.
Comfortably Smug Lollll Kamala is such a liability, Joe sent her out of town during the congressional negotiations
maybe she's on to a lead to the root cause of the border crisis ?
What’s Going On? Arizona Recently Processed 673,000 Voter Identities with the Social Security Administration – 58% Had NO MATCH FOUND
In the last 10 weeks, Arizona has checked the voter registration credentials with the Social Security Administration (SSA) on 673,560 applicants.
This is a massive volume considering most States including Arizona typically process around 2,500 a month. They’ve processed more identities in the last 2 months than they’ve done in the last 9 years combined. Is someone scrubbing a database, or auditing “Federal Only” voters?
During “new voter registration” States are to verify the driver’s license number against their own MVD database. Only in situations where no driver’s license can be provided should the State check their identity through the Help America Vote Verification (HAVV) interface provided by the SSA. The 43 States that participate provide the last 4 of the SS#, the applicant’s name, and DOB. The interface responds if a match was, or was not found, if they are deceased, and so on. This entire HAVV Excel dataset can be downloaded here from the SSA.
“No Match” was found on 58% of the voters submitted by Arizona over the last 10 weeks. https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/09/going-arizona-recently-processed-67300-voter-identities-social-security-administration-58-no-match-found/
Besides the massive fraud uncovered by the audit this is highly troubling
but state media only "reports" on the recount aspect of the audit
Vice President Kamala Harris was making an unexplained private trip Friday to the resort town of Palm Springs, California, as Democrats in Congress sought to complete President Biden’s economic agenda.
I cherry picked a directed quote from Biden, you don't know what the term " cherry picked" means. " bring it on" Alky
Ok.
Anybody making more than $400,000 will see a small to a significant tax increase. If you make less than $400,000, you won’t see one single penny in additional federal tax.”
—President Biden, in an interview with George Stephanopoulos, March 16, 2021
“Donald Trump is a fascist” sounds more like a campaign slogan than an analysis of his political program. But it’s true that the GOP nominee doesn’t fit into America’s conventional party categories, and thoughtful people — authors Robert Kagan and Jeffrey Tucker, among others — have hurled the f-word at him.
Fascism was born in Italy during World War I and came to power with the ex-journalist and war veteran Benito Mussolini in 1922. Since the 1950s, dozens of top historians and political scientists have put fascism, especially the Italian and German versions, under the microscope. They’ve come up with a pretty solid agreement on what it is, both as a political ideology and as a political movement, factoring in all the (sometimes contradictory) things its progenitors said as they ascended to power. As a political ideology, fascism has eight main traits. As a political movement, it has three more. So: Just how fascist is Trump? On the fascist meter, we can award him zero to four “Benitos.”
31 comments:
The largest condom factory in the States burned down.
President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
Trump: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship condoms in from Mexico."
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about Canada?"
Trump: "Okay, I'll call Justin and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches wide. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
Three days later, a delighted President Trump ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches wide, exactly as requested... All colored with red maple leaves and in small writing saying: Made In Canada/Size: Small.
A retired gentleman and former blogger went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.”
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office.
She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.
JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
S. SCOTT JOHNSON Did I really suck Trump's mushroom penis again?
I was illegally hunting for mushrooms.
I have questionable morels.
When rich queers adopt their children, they are enslaved by faggots.
Applied to the practices of wealthy homosexual men who acquire babies, if there is total discontinuation of the full scope of bio-natural and social identities, including the right to an immutable and pre-existing identity as the offspring of a fertile mother and as a member of her family, it casts a shadow of falsehood over the life of the acquired person. If the acquired person is limited by the belief that they arose from nothing more than a commodified ova and womb, without recognition of the full scope of their natural and social identities (which, in truth, lie beyond the power of any human being to control), they are living in a state that parallels affectional involuntary servitude.
Biden qent to capital hill and intimidated exactly no one. The squad has more influence than this pathetic president.
Biden has lost the moderates. He is toast.
The squad has more influence than this pathetic president.
And certainly more than your wish he fails unlike the sheeple of the GOP who blindly are trying to destroy the country with authoritative dogma!!!!!!!!!!
How can a black man change a white republican politician's views on abortion?
Get his wife pregnant.
My first SNL appearance is extraordinarily intelligent and hilarious.
https://youtu.be/uzEPvj46rGQ
I did not stumble down the stairs today!
Add Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ) to Saturday Night Live's Cecily Strong's list of dead-on impressions as the Arizona Democrat was mocked for her spotlight-hogging and obstructionism in the cold opening of SNL's new season.
With new cast-member James Austin Johnson introducing his President Joe Biden impression, Strong's Sinema made her presence known in the sketch by shooting down any proposal being made by fellow Democrats as part of the infrastructure negotiations.
In addition to sticking out her tongue, blowing a raspberry and giving a thumbs-down to raising taxes on the rich, SNL's Sinema explained what she really stands for.
"What do I want from this bill? I'll never tell. Because I didn't come to Congress to make friends. And so far, mission accomplished," she smirked.
"Look, as a wine-drinking, bisexual triathlete, I know what the average American wants. They want to be put on hold when they call 9-1-1, they want bridges that just stop and car falls down. They want water so thick you can eat it with a fork. And I will fight for that no matter what. Unless my foot hurts, then I've got to go back to Arizona," she added.
Yea, I miss Trump. And I suspect a lot of people miss him. Even the ones who voted for Biden.
Organizers for the women's march have ban the handmaiden's tail costume as being racist.
Yea it's a head scratcher for me to.
Jewish Deplorable
@TrumpJew2
NBC reporter attempts desperate damage control as crowd chants “F Joe Biden”
VIDEO:
https://twitter.com/TrumpJew2/status/1444460915802484737
state media FAKE NEWS NBC will try and make up the real news FJB with something on Saturday Night Live to keep in good graces.
but the "big man" will not like this
though he probably was chanting this himself
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden promoted his record-breaking $3.5 trillion spending bill today, telling Americans it will basically cost us nothing since China was kind enough to give him a brand new VISA card with a $3.5 trillion credit limit and a very low introductory rate.
"C'mon, folks, that's too good a deal to pass up!" said Biden in a press conference. "It's basically free money! And President Xi promised me an introductory 0.0% APR for the first month! And I get points for gas and groceries with every purchase! How can you not take that deal?"
He then waved the card around for the cameras, causing the assembled press to "ooh" and "aah" at the shininess and redness of it.
Experts say the spending bill will solve all the problems our country faces and will continue to do so until it's time to pass another one next month. The card will charge 0% interest for the first month, after which the rate increases to the firstborn child of every American citizen.
Biden has promised that after we've used up our Chinese credit card, he will fund further spending bills with a daring diamond heist, and he will then bet all the diamonds on black in a vegas casino craps table to make up the remaining funds.
Unfortunately, Biden's plan to use his new VISA card was ruined when AOC got ahold of it and bought $1 trillion worth of "Tax The Rich" dresses.
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-says-we-can-afford-35t-bill-because-china-just-gave-him-a-new-35t-visa-card-with-low-introductory-rate
I'm so mad I'm literally shaking right now. Forget COVID, the real threat is critical race theory being taught in our schools! My question is, what is it and why am I mad about it?
Clueless Trumpet said...
I'm so mad I'm literally shaking right now.
Obvious that this is a false flag liberal
ready to make up a fake "hate crime"
deep inside they like doing this
it's their racist inner self
Well Trumpet,
If you're stupid enough to land in a fucking nursing home at the young age of 70, you probably aren't smart enough to comprehend an explanation.
Alcoholic wife-beaters can find themselves in a situation like that.
Catturd ™
https://mobile.twitter.com/catturd2/status/1444283018441641986
I don't follow the billboard music charts - but "F Joe Biden" has to be the #1 song in the USA, right now.
Besides sporting events it's taking hold at concerts
catchy tune
The fascists are still in control.
Just over a week ago, the company that calls itself the Cyber Ninjas announced the results of its supposed "audit" of the 2020 election results in Maricopa County, Arizona, the state's major population center. Their findings were disappointing to hardcore Trump conspiracy theorists: Joe Biden's margin of victory actually increased by 99 votes, and there was no finding of systemic errors or election fraud.
In response, Donald Trump's critics and detractors among the news media, the liberal "resistance" and the general public resorted once again to laughter and mockery, resplendent in self-satisfaction that Trump's false claims had been debunked once again. All this was taken as one more example of how stupid, foolish and out of touch with reality Trump and his cultists really are.
If liberal schadenfreude were a drug, many of the Trump opposition were "high on their own supply" after the Arizona announcement.
As Trump's opponents dance in celebration of what they believe to be embarrassing setbacks for Trump and his movement, they had better beware of the pitfalls all around them. In reality, the fake audit in Arizona — which is soon to be copied in other states, including Texas — is another victory for Trump and the Republican-fascist movement in its war against American democracy.
Too many among the mainstream news media and political class are unwilling to acknowledge this fact, because they are products of, and beholden to an obsolescent way of thinking about politics and American society.
Proof is on the bottom of your page.
The Washington Times
https://mobile.twitter.com/ComfortablySmug/status/1444382192273084420
Vice President Kamala Harris was making an unexplained private trip Friday to the resort town of Palm Springs, California, as Democrats in Congress sought to complete President Biden’s economic agenda.
Comfortably Smug
Lollll Kamala is such a liability, Joe sent her out of town during the congressional negotiations
maybe she's on to a lead to the root cause of the border crisis ?
maybe she's on to a lead to the root cause of the border crisis ?
Or she was headed out to bang Willie Brown once more for old times sake?
What’s Going On? Arizona Recently Processed 673,000 Voter Identities with the Social Security Administration – 58% Had NO MATCH FOUND
In the last 10 weeks, Arizona has checked the voter registration credentials with the Social Security Administration (SSA) on 673,560 applicants.
This is a massive volume considering most States including Arizona typically process around 2,500 a month. They’ve processed more identities in the last 2 months than they’ve done in the last 9 years combined. Is someone scrubbing a database, or auditing “Federal Only” voters?
During “new voter registration” States are to verify the driver’s license number against their own MVD database. Only in situations where no driver’s license can be provided should the State check their identity through the Help America Vote Verification (HAVV) interface provided by the SSA. The 43 States that participate provide the last 4 of the SS#, the applicant’s name, and DOB. The interface responds if a match was, or was not found, if they are deceased, and so on. This entire HAVV Excel dataset can be downloaded here from the SSA.
“No Match” was found on 58% of the voters submitted by Arizona over the last 10 weeks.
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/09/going-arizona-recently-processed-67300-voter-identities-social-security-administration-58-no-match-found/
Besides the massive fraud uncovered by the audit this is highly troubling
but state media only "reports" on the recount aspect of the audit
and ignorant minions clap
Richard Grenell
https://twitter.com/RichardGrenell/status/1442509468047077381
German elections require voters to have identification and they don’t use machines to count votes.
They count by hand and deliver results the same night.
cc: America
What’s Going On? Arizona Recently Processed 673,000 Voter Identities with the Social Security Administration – 58% Had NO MATCH FOUND
Huh.
So THAT'S what wife-beating drunks locked down in nursing homes call 'fascism.'
Vice President Kamala Harris was making an unexplained private trip Friday to the resort town of Palm Springs, California, as Democrats in Congress sought to complete President Biden’s economic agenda.
Maybe she felt she had to work on her tan.
TOO SOON ROGER YOU FUCKTARD.
KansasDemocrat October 2, 2021 at 8:40 PM
From $400,000 to 200,000.
"Roger AmickOctober 2, 2021 at 8:03 PM
Even by 2031, only those making more than $200,000 (12.8% of households) would, on average, see a tax increase, under that scenario.
Bring it on kputz"
Ouch
TOO SOON ROGER YOU IDIOT
KansasDemocrat October 2, 2021 at 8:38 PM
I cherry picked a directed quote from Biden, you don't know what the term " cherry picked" means.
" bring it on" Alky
Ok.
Anybody making more than $400,000 will see a small to a significant tax increase. If you make less than $400,000, you won’t see one single penny in additional federal tax.”
—President Biden, in an interview with George Stephanopoulos, March 16, 2021
Biden lied.
“Donald Trump is a fascist” sounds more like a campaign slogan than an analysis of his political program. But it’s true that the GOP nominee doesn’t fit into America’s conventional party categories, and thoughtful people — authors Robert Kagan and Jeffrey Tucker, among others — have hurled the f-word at him.
Fascism was born in Italy during World War I and came to power with the ex-journalist and war veteran Benito Mussolini in 1922. Since the 1950s, dozens of top historians and political scientists have put fascism, especially the Italian and German versions, under the microscope. They’ve come up with a pretty solid agreement on what it is, both as a political ideology and as a political movement, factoring in all the (sometimes contradictory) things its progenitors said as they ascended to power. As a political ideology, fascism has eight main traits. As a political movement, it has three more. So: Just how fascist is Trump? On the fascist meter, we can award him zero to four “Benitos.”
Go outside you pathetic, sot
As Fall hits Americans are faced paying twice as much for Natural Gas to heat their homes.
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