Sunday, July 24, 2022

Sunday Funnies












































27 comments:

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

Trump and Putin are sitting in Putin's office discussing how powerful they are.

Putin says "Watch this." He picks up the phone and says something in Russian.

A beautiful woman walks in the room, kneels in front of Putin and begins giving him a blow job.

Minutes pass, and Putin finishes. He gives the woman a tap on the head, and she stands up and walks out of the room.

Looking back at Trump, Putin asks "Do you want to try?"

Trump replies "Yeah, but please dont tap me on the head when you're done."

Uncensored by IED JOHNSON said...

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Anonymous said...

President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home

After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there's a nice woman at the front desk who can tell you!"

Uncensored by IED Johnson said...

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

Anonymous said...

In 2017, Trump went to meet Vladimir Putin in Moscow...

... They had dinner at the Kremlin and sat down afterwards alone for drinks and cigars and to discuss business.

After a little bit Putin asks Trump "hey, you wanna see something?" and he rings a little bell that's sitting on the coffee table.

A beautiful blond walks in to the room, kneels in front of Putin, and without a word starts giving him a blowjob right there in front of Trump.

A few minutes go by and Putin smacks the blond once on the back of the head, she gets up, and without a word leaves the room.

Putin smiles at Trump. "You wanna try too?" He asks.

"Yes" says Trump enthusiastically "but please don't smack my head when you're done".

Anonymous said...

What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians?

Ukrainians defend their Capitol.

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

What do Trump supporters and Flat Earthers have in common?

They both hate globalists.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't allowed to join the Trump campaign because I was circumcised.

Apparently, you need to be a complete dick.


Uncensored Roger said...

The Republicans have learned that if you try to overturn the election you will not be punished by Republican voters, activists or donors. For the most part, you’ll be rewarded for it. And to me, that is terrifying.

anonymous said...

Spot on opinion and indictment for the deniers of the GOP who think GW is a hoax to take away their freedom to be fucking dumb!!!!!

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/23/opinion/biden-climate-change.html

Myballsinthewoodsagain said...

Wow, Roger gets terrified at imaginary things. I hope he gets help.

As I started up the stair
I saw a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish I wish he'd stay away

Honest, decent, truthful Rev. said...

SUNDAY REALITES

Why Trump Is Weakening
July 24, 2022 at 8:08 am EDT By Taegan Goddard 9 Comments

Ross Douthat: “There is more than one way, in other words, for Republican voters to decide that the former president is a loser. The stolen-election narrative has protected him from the simplest consequence of his defeat. But it doesn’t prevent the stench of failure from rising from his well-worn grievances, his whine of disappointment and complaint.”



Georgia Probe Into Trump Picks Up Pace
July 24, 2022 at 8:07 am EDT By Taegan Goddard 3 Comments

New York Times: “Even as many Democrats lament that the Justice Department is moving too slowly in its inquiry, the local Georgia prosecutor has been pursuing a quickening case that could pose the most immediate legal peril for the former president and his associates.”



Many Republicans See a Civil War
July 24, 2022 at 8:00 am EDT By Taegan Goddard 16 Comments

Washington Post: “Both candidates described a country that was not merely in trouble, but being destroyed by leaders who despise most Americans — effectively part of a civil war. In both swing states and safe seats, many Republicans say that liberals hate them personally and may turn rioters or a police state on people who disobey them.”


How Much Damage Are the Hearings Doing to Trump?
July 23, 2022 at 10:14 pm EDT By Taegan Goddard 247 Comments

John Cassidy: “By demonstrating so clearly and comprehensively Trump’s culpability before, on, and after January 6, 2021, the House select committee has strengthened the hands of his potential GOP rivals, and this could conceivably be its biggest legacy.”

“But, even after all the committee’s sterling work, a Republican effort to take down Trump would attract a barrage of counterattacks from him and his supporters, and it would take courage and fortitude to withstand the onslaught. Outside of the offices of Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Mitt Romney, and a few others, these attributes are still in extremely short supply in G.O.P. circles. That’s another thing in Trump’s favor.”

Washington Post: “Trump has forged ahead with preparations for another presidential campaign, eyeing a fall announcement.”

“Yet even as he does so, there are indications of possible shifts underway, with support for his prospective candidacy softening and Trump himself stewing over the lack of backing he has received on television and online from his fellow Republicans as the committee makes its case.”



January 6 Committee Turns Focus to Secret Service
July 23, 2022 at 10:08 pm EDT By Taegan Goddard 55 Comments

Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) told MSNBC that the Secret Service “is the biggest remaining mystery” in the January 6 Committee’s investigation.

Said Raskin: “We don’t know exactly what we’re going to learn. We don’t know what the political dynamics were within the Secret Service—And the committee is determined to find it out.”

Anonymous said...

Funny collection of Stuff.
Thanks

Anonymous said...

Has anyone seen anything Like Built Back Better?
I have seen a 🔥 Dumpster Fire of a Presidency.

James's Fucking Daddy said...


I wonder how the google spam filter identifies the lying POS "pastor" as a prolific spammer

About as much a mystery as who "the big guy" is

James's Fucking Daddy said...


* same as roger

James's Fucking Daddy said...


Law professor Jonathan Turley, who agrees that the events of January 6 were “horrific,” notes that Cheney’s claim that friends and associates of Trump have “confessed” only contributes to the idea that this is nothing but a show trial.


The only thing the January 6 committee has proven to the public is how far and they will do whatever it takes to hunt their opponents.
They have the resources and control the institutions to spin any event to fit their narrative “the democracy is in danger”


This Soviet show trial is so much worse than 1/6.



https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2022/07/23/jonathan-turley-notes-rep-liz-cheneys-use-of-the-word-confessions-in-january-6-committee-hearing/

James's Fucking Daddy said...



NeverTrump’s Latest Attempt To Dismiss Election Concerns Is Particularly Dishonest

A group of establishment Republicans released a report last week claiming to make “The Conservative Case that Trump Lost and Biden Won the 2020 Presidential Election.”

It is not news that Joe Biden won the 2020 election. The report’s strawman-slaying title is intended to suggest that concerns about the integrity of that election are without merit. But the report itself simply goes through court decisions and recounts, listing how they turned out. It focuses on questions about “fraud,” rather than the significant and extremely well-substantiated concerns Republican voters have about the election.


“Their methodology obscures the vast majority of actual material to consider if one were honestly engaging the problems,” said Capital Research Center President Scott Walter. His group has documented the significant role played by Mark Zuckerberg’s private funding of government election offices, a massive issue that the report almost completely elided.

Other major issues were also downplayed or ignored, even as court cases and investigative reports vindicate some of those concerns. In just the last few weeks, the Wisconsin Supreme Court, for example, ruled that unsupervised ballot drop boxes and third-party ballot trafficking both violate state law.
continues:
https://thefederalist.com/2022/07/19/nevertrumps-latest-attempt-to-dismiss-election-concerns-is-particularly-dishonest/

Good read and shared by President Trump

James's Fucking Daddy said...


Ron DeSantis Wishes America A Speedy Recovery From Joe Biden

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis shared his get well wishes after President Joe Biden was diagnosed with COVID, but his wishes were not only for the president.

Speaking at the at the Student Action Summit held by Turning Point USA, the Florida governor said he wanted to see America recover from Biden.

“I want to, on behalf of the State of Florida, wish President Biden a speedy recovery from COVID. And I also want to wish the United States of America a speedy recovery from Joe Biden,” the Florida governor said.

His message to the crowd was focused on national politics, continuing speculation that he may campaign for president in 2024.

“If we get that red wave in the House and in the Senate, and Republicans have majorities, here’s what I think we as voters want to see – we want to see you do something with those majorities,” he said.

“We want to see you hold [Biden] and his ilk accountable for what they’re doing at the southern border,” the Florida governor said.
continues:
https://conservativebrief.com/recovery-64827/

If the Jan 6th committee is "successful" this guy will be their just reward

And I guess being from Florida he is a real orange man

ROFLMFAO !!!

Caliphate4vr said...

"Your husband is the worst President we ever had, you OWE us gas money"

Jill Biden: THANK YOU

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

There's actually a mathematical formula to describe all the Republicans lining up to pretend like the January 6th attack didn't happen.

It's called the Fibbing Nazi Sequence.

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

The House January 6 select committee advanced new evidence at its Thursday primetime hearing that Donald Trump took active steps to obstruct the congressional certification of Joe Biden’s election win, paving the way for prosecutors to construct a criminal case against the former president.

The former president knew as early as 15 mins after returning to the White House from his rally at the Ellipse that the US Capitol was under attack by his supporters, and yet acted only to find ways to stop the certification by calling senators to make objections, the panel showed.

And when Trump finally sent a tweet instructing the rioters to leave the Capitol, it was 4.17pm, only after it had become clear they had been unable to fully occupy the building after being repulsed by a late-arriving national guard and the Capitol attack had largely failed.

Those deliberate actions to first advance the obstruction, and then refuse to intervene until the attack was essentially over, bolstered the case that Trump violated federal law that prohibits obstructing an official proceeding, through both action and inaction.

‘US democracy will notsurvive for long’: how January 6 hearings plot a roadmap to autocracy

Elaine Luria, the select committee member who co-led Thursday’s hearing, concluded: “In the end, this is not a story of inaction in time of crisis. It was the final action of Donald Trump’s own plan to usurp the will of the American people and remain in power.”

The select committee, in effect, at the primetime hearing laid out the evidence of obstruction of an official proceeding – a violation of federal law – in such a manner that justice department prosecutors could take up their presentation as a framework for a potential prosecution.

Aside from presenting new details of the former president’s actions on January 6, the panel also revealed new and potentially legally significant details about Trump’s frame of mind that the members believe revealed his intent and understanding of what had taken place that day.

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jul/23/january-6-hearings-trump-criminal-case

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

On Friday, the former president also spoke at a rally in Arizona where he was met with boos over his endorsement of Eli Crane, an Arizona GOP congressional candidate.

"But you like me, right?" Trump said before a small giggle.

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

Actual good news 👏

Ukraine’s Kherson to be ‘liberated’ from Russia by September: Official

A Ukrainian official has said that the country’s southern region of Kherson, which fell to Russian troops early in their February invasion, would be recaptured by Kyiv’s forces by September.

“We can say that the Kherson region will definitely be liberated by September, and all the occupiers’ plans will fail,” Serhiy Khlan, an aide to the head of the Kherson region, said in an interview with Ukrainian television.

The Ukrainian army, emboldened by deliveries of Western-supplied long-range artillery have been clawing back territory in the southern Kherson region in recent weeks.

“We can say that a turning point has occurred on the battlefield. We see that the Armed Forces of Ukraine are prevailing in their most recent military operations,” Khlan said.

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

The Secret Service is under investigation and even a couple people have hired lawyers.

https://www.businessinsider.com/secret-service-identifies-potential-missing-text-messages-cnn-report-2022-7?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=topbar

Coldheartedtruth Teller said...

A busy news day.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The panel probing the Jan. 6, 2021, assault on the U.S. Capitol plans to push its investigation further in the coming weeks, interviewing additional members of Donald Trump's cabinet and his campaign, as well as U.S. Secret Service members, the committee's vice chair said on Sunday.

"We're not finished yet," Representative Liz Cheney, one of two Republicans on the U.S. House of Representatives' select committee, told CNN's "State of the Union."

In eight hearings over six weeks featuring testimony from former White House officials and Trump associates, the panel painted the former president as responsible for the attack on the Capitol in a bid to stay in power following his 2020 election loss. The hearings have also outlined efforts by Trump and his allies to overturn the election results.

The committee has yet to decide whether to make a criminal referral concerning Trump's conduct to the U.S. Justice Department, Cheney said, "but that's absolutely something we're looking at."